One Act Play 3: Refund

Fritz Karinthy’s biting educational satire "Refund" follows forty-year-old Wasserkopf, who returns to his high school demanding a complete tuition refund for his eighteen years of schooling. Having repeatedly lost jobs and been told by an acquaintance that his education was worthless, he claims that since the school failed to prepare him to earn a living, they must return his money. Alarmed by the prospect of financial ruin and catastrophic precedent, the Principal holds an emergency conference with the Masters. The Mathematics Master devises an ingenious defense: they will conduct an oral re-examination and agree beforehand that whatever answer Wasserkopf gives, no matter how stupid or rude, they will declare it correct and award him top marks. One by one, the teachers ask simple questions. When Wasserkopf answers with brazen insults (calling the History Master an ass and the Physics Master a hypocrite), the faculty twist his words into profound philosophical truths and pass him. Finally, the Mathematics Master steps forward. He first asks an impossible question ("how much would the total refund be?"), and when Wasserkopf insults him, the Master declares him a failure. Delighted that he has failed, Wasserkopf readily calculates down to the exact haler his total tuition fees plus compound interest. Instantly, the Mathematics Master reveals his trap: that was the second, real question testing high-level mathematical computation! Because Wasserkopf solved it flawlessly, he passes with highest honors. The Principal declares him an intellectual genius and throws him out without a single cent.

Practice questions curated specifically for One Act Play 3: Refund.